Sunday is Coming
For the last few months, I’ve felt as if I’ve lost my song.
I took a sabbatical from the worship team at church because I’m struggling to lift my song in praise. Literally.
Out in the congregation, I find myself mouthing words because I can’t find my voice. But last Sunday, as I sang about the resurrected life, with both hands lifted & tears streaming down my face, I realized that my tears are my song.
I’ve always been a cryer when it comes to worship. There’s a sensitivity I have to the spirit when I’m in the midst of song to my King, & I’ve been that way since I was a kid. Part of it might be my HSPness—but I think more of it is that I just feel so deeply connected to the Holy Spirit when I’m worshipping.
But this season, these last several months, I’ve felt stuck in a Friday.
We’ve deemed today Good Friday, yet for Christ it was anything but.
He was beaten & mocked.
Bloody & Battered.
Hung on a cross for sins He didn’t commit.
Today, I find myself lingering in this season of Friday-ness.
My soul feeling broken & beat down.
Worn & weary from grief.
Grieving my mother-in-law.
Grieving our infertility.
Grieving lost dreams & unanswered prayers.
Grieving a space of feeling unseen & isolated.
But despite my grief & seemingly lost song, I know, deep down, that this Friday-ness won’t last long.
Or so my tears tell me.
Because we see the ashes of defeat, but it’s from those ashes that He rose.
The victory of a resurrected life for us.
My tears aren’t singing grief but the aliveness of my soul in His victory.
I, too, am being resurrected.
Sunday is coming.
“Your name, Your name is victory
All praise, will rise
to Christ our King //
By Your spirit I will rise
From the ashes of defeat
The resurrected King, is resurrecting me
In Your name I come alive
To declare Your victory
The resurrected King, is resurrecting me”
-“Resurrecting”, Elevation Worship